So I have finally taken my L A S T midterms. Thank goodness!!!!! For those of you who do not know, I have terrible anxiety.
Halloween is a really big deal at my school and I had a paper due Sunday at noon. I forced myself to get my paper done Saturday afternoon so I could go out with my friends. I also had a test Monday.
Well I could not get myself to start on my paper... I literally did everything possible to avoid it. I mopped the kitchen of my apartment and put everyone's dishes away. I sat at my computer for about two hours with just an opening paragraph. At 1 AM, I just began to cry and cry. It was awful. I took a shower and sat down and cranked out four of the six pages. Maybe crying is a solution to everything? Idk. I ended up going to bed after the four pages were done around 3:30.
My anxiety has really gotten to me this semester. Probably from having a larger and tougher course load all while being in a completely new environment. I am trying to make friends, be involved, and try to do well in my classes.
I got my grade back for my Digicon class. I didn't do terribly on it, but my teacher wanted me to meet with her since she knows I'm a transfer student etc. She told me she definitely saw potential for me to do really well in the class. I just need help with my writing (So, why am I blogging?? I really wish I knew) I told her I wasn't sure if journalism is really what I want to pursue. She made an appointment for me to meet with the Dean of the journalism school which should be interesting.
Today in class, I received an email that my decision for my minor had been released. I applied to the education minor. (Note: I don't even know what I want to major in.) I always loved playing school, but due to my anxiety I never knew if I could handle a classroom setting. Over the last few years, I have been exposed to more kids, like this summer with the BEST babysitting job. I really have a passion for them. I thought why not minor in education so I have something to fall back on... well I'm sure you guessed it by now but I got rejected.
My spirits are definitely a little down and it just adds to the Monday Blues.
But here's to almost being done with my first semester!
Bailey
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